Meg Wolitzer, The Interestings
Found my old Healthy Living (aka Sex Ed.) workbook from 7th grade and am amazed at how relevant the information within it continues to be some twenty-three years later.
For instance, when dealing with sexual feelings, it’s first important to agree on some basic definitions:
Life is full of Tough Decisions, but those regarding whether or not to “do it” deserve a little extra consideration. I know that when I’m making choices about whether or not to engage in Intercourse, I find it especially useful to ask myself, “Would I want my family to know?” In fact, I think it can be beneficial to take that even a step further, which is why, before giving it up, I always try to imagine that my parents are actually watching.
Relationships can be overwhelming, and you might find it necessary to, from time to time, check in with the Funnel of Love:
Any questions? I didn’t think so.
Friend’s response upon learning I was valedictorian of my high school/the Very Last Time I ever told anyone I was valedictorian of my high school:
Secret of Life, Probably:
This movie just broke my heart. Also, the redheaded girl is my spirit animal.
In honor of Halloween—which I will not be celebrating because doing so would require that I 1) Dress Up, and 2) Go Out, and, well, No—I thought I would take this opportunity to announce to the world that, though I seem to be alone in my conviction that the new season of American Horror Story is thus far not nearly as disturbing as the last (Asylums are scarier than Covens—I’m sorry, they just are), Jessica Lange as the coke-snorting, throat-slashing, chain-smoking, whiskey-slamming Super Witch has me seriously questioning my own sexuality: I think I might be in love with her.
Also, fuck Hogwarts; I wanna go to that school.
Alice Munro, “Passion”